George Carlin

I think people are afraid of the truth. I think people are afraid of looking at the truth. And I think that’s why they invent all these lies, and all these stories, and all these religions, because they don’t want to face the truth.

If you scratch a religious person, you'll find a superstitious person.

I like it when a building burns down. I like to see the fire. I like to see the smoke. I like to see the destruction. I like to see the chaos.

That's why I like earthquakes. They're big. They're powerful. They're unpredictable. They don't give a shit about you. They don't give a shit about your house. They don't give a shit about your car. They just do what they do.

I'm not a pessimist. I'm a realist. I just think the world is a fucked-up place.

I have no faith in anything, except myself. And even that wavers.

I'm a pessimist. I'm really good at it. I've been practicing for a long time.

I don't believe in God. I believe in people. I believe in the power of people to do good, and to do evil.

I don't believe in miracles. I believe in science. I believe in facts. I believe in things you can see, and touch, and feel.

I don't believe in heaven. I don't believe in hell. I don't believe in an afterlife. I believe in this life. And I believe in making the most of it.

I don't believe in fate. I believe in choice. I believe in making your own choices, and living with the consequences.

I don't believe in destiny. I believe in hard work. I believe in perseverance. I believe in never giving up.

I don't believe in luck. I believe in preparation. I believe in seizing opportunities. I believe in making your own luck.

I have a lot of anger. I have a lot of rage. I have a lot of resentment. And I use it. I use it in my comedy. I use it in my writing. I use it in my life.

I'm not a bitter person. I'm just a person who sees things for what they are.

I'm not a cynical person. I'm just a person who's seen a lot of shit.

I'm not a nihilist. I'm just a person who doesn't believe in anything.

I'm not a misanthrope. I just don't like most people.

I'm not an anarchist. I just don't believe in government.

I'm not a revolutionary. I just want to burn everything down.