"The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music."

"I'm not a teacher. I'm just a guy who likes to share what he knows."

"I'm not a preacher. I'm just a guy who likes to tell people what to do."

"I’m a modern man, digital and smoke-free; a man for the millennium. A diversified, multi-cultural, post-modern deconstructionist; politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect."

"All my best words are those that I stole from other people."