Mark Twain

To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.

I have been a great many things in my life, but I have never been a hypocrite.

The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice, but the stuff with which all history is made is merely fluid ignorance.

I have been told that Wagner's music is better than it sounds.

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.

I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's.

I have never seen a dead person who looked natural.

I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.

The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.

I have no special regard for the past, it’s a dead letter.

The greatest of all inventions is the invention of man.

I am not an American. I am the American.

When in doubt, tell the truth. It will confound your enemies and astound your friends.

The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—'tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

I am not an optimist. I am a realist.

I am an atheist, and I am not afraid to say it.

It is easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.

Patriotism is loyalty to the nation all the time, loyalty to the government when it deserves it.