"I am not an optimist. I am a realist. I believe in the triumph of good over evil. But I don't believe in the triumph of good over evil without a fight."

"The principal difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives."

"It is easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled."

"I was born with a reading habit, and it's a good thing, because it's the only habit I've ever had that hasn't cost me money."

"Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, and those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink."