"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat."

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please."

"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."

"The greatest country in the world, and we're letting it go to the dogs."

"But the truth is, that when a Library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights …"