Ozzy Osbourne

I'm not a very good gardener. I kill everything I touch.

I'm not a very good mechanic. I can't even change a tire.

I'm not a very good painter. I get more paint on myself than on the wall.

I'm not a very good electrician. I always blow a fuse.

I'm not a very good plumber. I always flood the bathroom.

I'm not a very good tailor. I always sew my fingers together.

I'm not a very good barber. I always cut off an ear.

I'm not a very good accountant. I always lose my money.

I'm not a very good lawyer. I always end up in jail.

I'm not a very good doctor. I always make things worse.

I'm not a very good teacher. I always confuse my students.

I'm not a very good scientist. I always blow up the lab.

I'm not a very good politician. I always tell the truth.

I'm not a very good comedian. I always tell bad jokes.

I'm not a very good writer. I always misspell words.

I'm not a very good singer. I always hit the wrong notes.

I'm not a very good musician. I only know three chords.

I'm not a very good actor. I always forget my lines.

I'm not a very good dancer. I have two left feet.

I'm not a very good artist. I can't even draw a stick figure.