Ozzy Osbourne

I'm not a very good driver. I've crashed a few cars.

I'm just a normal bloke from Birmingham who got lucky.

I'm not a very religious person, but I believe in something.

I've been in therapy for years, and it hasn't helped me one bit.

I'm not a fucking animal! I'm a rock star!

I'm just a guy who sings in a band. I don't know anything about anything.

I've been married to the same woman for 30 years and I've never cheated on her once. Or maybe I have, I don't know.

I'm not a role model. I'm a rock star.

I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a professional drinker.

I don't know what I'm doing half the time, but I just keep going.

I'm not a genius. I'm just a guy who got lucky.

I'm not a very good cook. I can burn water.

I'm not a religious man, but I believe in God.

I'm not a violent person, but I've been known to throw a punch or two.

I'm not a very smart man, but I know what I like.

I'm not a very good dancer. I look like a giraffe on roller skates.

I'm not a very good swimmer. I sink like a stone.

I'm not a very good golfer. I hit the ball sideways.

I'm not a very good fisherman. I catch old boots.

I'm not a very good carpenter. I can't even hammer a nail straight.