Humorous Sayings

Why do they call it 'rush hour' when nothing moves?

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

I went to jail for a while. They said I resisted arrest. I didn't resist, I just didn't want to go.

I'm not a conspiracy theorist. I'm a conspiracy realist.

Every day, people are dying. They're not dying because they're old, they're not dying because they're sick, they're dying because they're bored.

I'm not trying to hide from the public. I'm trying to hide from the government.

The more secretive an organization is, the more it has to hide.

I mean, I'm already in a cage, I might as well try to be myself.

I have been in this country a little too long to be deceived by the cry of liberty.

I have indeed seen the Great Bird, Rukh, and it was a marvel to behold. Its wings were like mountains, and its cry was like thunder.

I'm not a role model. I'm not a hero. I'm just a basketball player who likes to wear dresses.

I will give everyone a pension. Whoever is older than 62, will receive a pension.

We do hereby abolish the Republican and Democratic parties of this realm, and do declare them forever suppressed.

I wish that these times were never to end.

What an artist the world loses in me!

I was not content to believe in a personal God and an everlasting Hell. I wanted to know if these things were really true.

I'm not a product of my environment. I'm a product of my imagination.

I'm fascinated by the bizarre.

I am not a human being. I am a dynamite stick.

I'm not a fucking animal! I'm a rock star!