"If women ran the world, we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days."

"I love my wife, but sometimes I want to take a picture of her and send it to the police with a caption: 'Have you seen this woman? She's driving me crazy!'"

"For that first week you lie to yourself, and tell yourself you can stop, and then your body kicks back and says, no, stop later. And then it took about three years, and finally you do stop."

"I'm a big fan of laughter. I think it's the best medicine."

"If you're that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."