Humorous Sayings

It is a press, certainly, but a press from which shall soon flow in inexhaustible streams the most abundant and most marvelous liquor that has ever flowed to relieve the thirst of men!

Give me twenty-six soldiers of lead and I will conquer the world.

God suffers in the great multitudes whom his sacred word cannot reach.

Religious truth is captive in a small number of manuscript books, which guard the common treasure, instead of diffusing it. Let us break the seal which holds the holy things; give wings to the truth that by means of speech, no longer written at great…

Is it the fault of wine if a fool drinks it and goes stumbling into darkness?

The different sorts of madness are innumerable.

Those who deny the first principle should be flogged or burned until they admit that it is not the same thing to be burned and not burned, or whipped and not whipped.

A horse is simply a horse.

Leeches should be kept a day before applying them. They should be squeezed to make them eject the contents of their stomachs.

O what a lean cow! it is not fit to be killed: give it fodder until it gets fat.

If you're afraid - don't do it, - if you're doing it - don't be afraid!

Who can't stop drinking may get drunken three times a month. If he does it more often, he is guilty. To get drunken twice a month is better; once, still more praiseworthy. But not to drink at all - what could be better than this? But where could such…

I hate luxury. I exercise moderation… It will be easy to forget your vision and purpose once you have fine clothes, fast horses and beautiful women. [In which case], you will be no better than a slave, and you will surely lose everything.

Those who were adept and brave fellows I have made military commanders. Those who were quick and nimble I have made herders of horses. Those who were not adept I have given a small whip and sent to be shepherds.

Heaven grew weary of the excessive pride and luxury of China... I am from the Barbaric North. I wear the same clothing and eat the same food as the cowherds and horse-herders.

I laugh when I hear that people go on pilgrimage to find God.

You don't grasp the fact that what is most alive of all is inside your own house; and you walk from one holy city to the next with a confused look!

I went in search of a bad person; I found none as I, seeing myself, found me the worst.

Nindak niyare rakhiye aangan kuti chhawaye; Bin sabun pani bina nirmal karat subhaye. (Keep your critics close, even making a place for them in your courtyard. Without water or soap they clean up your blemishes.)

Bada hua to kya hua, jaise ped khajoor. Panthi ko chhaya nahin, phal lage atidoor. (What good is it to be big like a date palm tree? It gives no shade to travelers, and its fruit is far out of reach.)