"I'm a pessimist. I'm really good at it. I've been practicing for a long time."

"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."

"I'm not a psychopath. I just enjoy manipulating people."

"I'm not a cynic. I'm a disappointed idealist."

"I'm not an atheist. I'm an agnostic. I don't know if there's a God or not. And I don't care."