They say only two things are certain: death and taxes. I say there's three: death, taxes, and when you're in a hurry, there's always some old guy in front of you driving 20 miles under the speed limit.
Comedian, actor
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"I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you."
Strange & Unusual"Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."
Strange & Unusual"I just want to make people laugh. And if I can do that, then I'm happy."
Humorous"We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion."
Humorous"I'm a big fan of physical comedy. I think it's timeless."
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