"The French are a small, warlike nation - not unlike the pygmies of Zaire, except white and with nuclear weapons."

"I think the greatest thing in life is to be able to make people laugh."

"I'm a big believer in improvisation. I think it's the most honest form of comedy."

"I'm not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"Being a celebrity is like being a hooker. You get paid to make people happy."