"If you're going through hell, keep going."

"Being a functioning alcoholic is kind of like being a paraplegic lap dancer — you can do it, just not as well as the others, really."

"If women ran the world, we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days."

"I'm a big believer in improvisation. I think it's the key to comedy."

"Being a woman is very difficult, since it consists principally of dealing with men."