"Comedy is all about timing. And sometimes, the timing is terrible."

"If you're not going to be a good example, then you'll just have to be a terrible warning."

"I'm a big fan of being honest. I think it's the best policy."

"I started doing stand-up in San Francisco. I'd go to open mic nights, and I'd just be a total mess. I'd be so nervous, I'd shake."

"Being a woman is very difficult, since it consists principally of dealing with men."