Being a functioning alcoholic is kind of like being a paraplegic lap dancer — you can do it, just not as well as the others, really.
Comedian, actor
Dark humor comparing addiction to a challenging situation.
2014
Found in 1 providers: gemini
Cross Reference
1 source
"I love my kids, but I wouldn't recommend them to anyone."
Controversial"I'm not a serious person. I'm a funny person."
Humorous"When in doubt, go for the dick joke."
Controversial"You have this one life. How do you want to live it? Do you want to look back and say, 'I wish I had,' or 'I'm glad I did'?"
Humorous"Why do they call it a 'walkie-talkie'? Why not a 'talkie-walkie'?"
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