"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat."

"I would not live forever. Because we should not live forever. Because if we did live forever, then we would live forever."

"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."

"If you don't read a newspaper, you are uninformed. If you do read it, you are misinformed."

"Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it."