"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat."

"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

"I was educated in the public schools of Missouri, which were not good enough to do me any harm."

"I have no special regard for Satan; but, I can at least claim that I have no prejudice against him. It may even be that I lean a little his way, on account of his not having a fair show."

"Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it."