"The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for."

"If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first."

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure."

"I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's."

"It is a most extraordinary thing that the human race is so fond of being humbugged."