"It's a classic… something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read."

"I was educated in the public schools of Missouri, which were not good enough to do me any harm."

"I am a person who has always been very much in favor of doing what is right, and I have always been very much against doing what is wrong."

"I like a good story, but I don't believe it."

"Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand."