Humorous Sayings

I do not want to be a man. I wish to be a woman, and to be as agreeable as a woman can be.

As the cat said to the rat, 'Don't make me laugh!'

Sleep is the most innocent creature and the most, therefore, defenseless. When it is done, when the night is past, it is gone like a dream.

I am sorry that I have not been able to write to you more often, but I have been very busy, and I am also very lazy.

I detest the actively good. It is the passively good who do the least harm.

In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

Churches, temples, mosques, synagogues and the like are not for the people. They are for the priests, for the clergy.

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.

Living in New York is like being at a party where you're not sure if you're invited or not.

A true friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

I don't know whether I am a man or a dream.

Certain things you can't learn in a classroom. You have to learn them on the streets, in the world, in life.

I respect myself and insist upon it from everybody. And because I do it, I get it.

There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

The public is a thick-skinned beast, and you have to club it soundly to get any attention at all.

I hope you love birds too. It is economical. It saves going to Heaven.

The only way out is through.

I may be a fool, but I'm not a stupid fool.

No matter what, I'm always going to be a Catholic.

I'm a poet, for Chrissake. I'm not a politician.