Humorous Sayings
6,846 sayings found from the Contemporary era
People who boast about their IQ are losers.
The downside of my celebrity is that I cannot go anywhere in the world without being recognized. It is not enough for me to wear dark sunglasses and a wig. The wheelchair gives me away.
When I gave a lecture in Japan, I was asked not to mention the possible re-collapse of the universe, because it might affect the stock market. However, I can reassure anyone who is nervous about their investments that it is a bit early to sell: even …
In the proof stage, I nearly cut that last sentence of the book. Had I done so, the sales might have been halved.
Wrong again, Albert.
Black holes ain't as black as they are painted. They are not the eternal prisons they were once thought. Things can get out of a black hole, both to the outside, and possibly, to another universe. So, if you feel you are in a black hole, don't give u…
Einstein was wrong when he said, 'God does not play dice'. Consideration of black holes suggests, not only that God does play dice, but that he sometimes confuses us by throwing them where they can't be seen.
I wouldn't compare it to sex, but it lasts longer.
The only advantage of my disability is that I do not get put on a lot of boring committees.
I deal in tough mathematical questions every day, but please don't ask me to help with Brexit.
Finally, a question about something important. My advice to any heartbroken young girl is to pay close attention to the study of theoretical physics. It would not be beyond the realms of possibility that somewhere outside of our own universe lies ano…
Yes. And also a universe where you're funny.
I want my books sold on airport bookstalls.
I don't think anyone would take me f---ing seriously if I sounded like that.
You're an idiot.
Both of us.
Replace you. You are not funny.
You have no talent. You are like a Chinese food delivery guy without Chinese food.
Slapstick is always funny. Oh yeah? How about now?
What makes human beings unique? Some say it's language or tools. Others say it's logical reasoning. They obviously haven't met many humans.