"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job …"

"Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them. The government doesn't care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfar…"

"Don't give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you."

"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."

"There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past."