"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is a…"

"I'm a little freaked out by the fact that I'm becoming my father. I find myself saying things like, 'Turn off the lights, I'm not paying to light the whole neighborhood!'"

"When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion..."

"The status quo sucks."

"Don't just teach your children to read. Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything."