"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."

"I’m a modern man, digital and smoke-free; a man for the millennium. A diversified, multi-cultural, post-modern deconstructionist; politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect."

"I'm not an athiest, I'm just an agnostic. I don't know. I don't know if there's a God. I don't know if there isn't. I'm just waiting for more information."

"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."

"I'm not a fan of anything that requires me to interact with other human beings."