"If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?"

"I'm a modern man. I've got a cell phone, a laptop, and I'm still trying to figure out how to work the damn remote control."

"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is and to cross it deliberately."

"I don’t like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions."

"The older I get, the more I realize that the only thing that matters is how you treat people. And most people treat people like shit."