"Don't give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you."

"I'm not a legend. I'm just a guy who's been around for a long time."

"I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours."

"I have a lot of anger. I have a lot of rage. I have a lot of resentment. And I use it. I use it in my comedy. I use it in my writing. I use it in my life."

"Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man... living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten special things that h…"