"I like a good story, but I don't believe it."

"Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."

"I do not like to be a member of any club that would have me as a member."

"If you don't read a newspaper, you are uninformed. If you do read it, you are misinformed."

"Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah didn't miss the boat."