Humorous Sayings

A man who is certain he is right is almost sure to be wrong.

Lectures which really teach will never be popular; lectures which are popular will never really teach.

I can at any moment convert my time into money, but I do not require more of the latter than is sufficient for necessary purposes.

I am no poet, but if you think for yourselves, as I proceed, the facts will form a poem in your minds.

It may be a weed instead of a fish that, after all my labour, I at last pull up.

Let us now consider, for a little while, how wonderfully we stand upon this world. Here it is we are born, bred, and live, and yet we view these things with an almost entire absence of wonder to ourselves respecting the way in which all this happens.…

Mr. Watson—Come here—I want to see you.

Don't keep forever on the public road, going only where others have gone, and following one after the other like a flock of sheep. Leave the beaten track occasionally and dive into the woods. You'll be certain to find something you have never seen be…

We are all too much inclined, I think, to walk through life with our eyes shut. There are things all round us and right at our very feet that we have never seen, because we have never really looked.

I am convinced that it will not be long before the whole world acknowledges the results of my work.

To live without experiencing some shame and blushes of admiration would surely be a wretched life.

You should regard the numerical expressions as being only empirical, because they can not be proved rational.

In the mean time do all you can to cure him of Bashfullness which will ruin him in this impudent age; but beware he be not led into the opposite vice of self conceit or arrogance which is 1000 times worse.

Dr Priestly (sic) was once very ill with gall stones & was cured by abstinence from Butcher meat. ... fish & vegetables & butter or fat did not hurt him when taken in moderation, but his Doctors must know better than I do what is good for him.

groped in the dark, misled by many an ignis fatuus, but nature has a weak side, if we can only find it out.

He says that he got the idea from a lobster's tail.

After all, wedlock is the natural state of man. A bachelor is not a complete human being. He is like the odd half of a pair of scissors, which has not yet found its fellow, and therefore is not even half so useful as they might be together.

Eat to please yourself, but dress to please others.

If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth the writing.

When you incline to have new clothes, look first well over the old ones, and see if you cannot shift with them another year, either by scouring, mending, or even patching if necessary. Remember, a patch on your coat, and money in your pocket, is bett…