Humorous Sayings

50 sayings found from the Early Modern era

I'm like a ripe stool and the world's like a gigantic anus, and we're about to let go of each other.

— Martin Luther c. 1546
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Through shallow intellect, the mind becomes shallow, and one eats the fly, along with the sweets.

— Guru Nanak c. 15th-16th century
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groped in the dark, misled by many an ignis fatuus, but nature has a weak side, if we can only find it out.

— James Watt Late 18th century
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Eat to please yourself, but dress to please others.

— Benjamin Franklin Unknown, likely 18th century
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Did you make a convert of the obstinate antivaxinist at Lello?

— Edward Jenner 1805
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What's the idea? We blow the brains out of anybody who sticks his head into our sleigh, huh?

— Napoleon Bonaparte December 1812
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He wished he had his POCKETS full, too.

— George Washington 1783
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Little bird, if you don't sing I will wait for you to sing.

— Tokugawa Ieyasu Early 17th century (approx.)
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I would rather lose all my lands than be king of heretics.

— Philip II of Spain 1566
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I'm extremely glad for you, Messire. Great tidings! Now you can read Cervantes in the original.

— Louis XIV Approx. 17th Century
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Dogs, would you live forever?

— Frederick the Great 1757
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My best friend is he who rights my wrongs or reproaches my mistakes.

— Jose de San Martin Undated, but likely during his active years as a leader (early 19th century)
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Live your life as though your every act were to become a universal law.

— Immanuel Kant 1785
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It's easier to be original and foolish than original and wise.

— Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz Unknown, likely 17th-18th century
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Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.

— Francis Bacon 1625
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Let them call me a rebel and welcome. I feel no concern from it. But should I suffer the misery of devils, were I to make a whore of my soul.

— Thomas Paine 1796
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Happiness is a very pretty thing to feel, but very dry to talk about.

— Jeremy Bentham 1789 or later
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I am sick when I do look on thee.

— William Shakespeare c. 1595-1596
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His words, like so many nimble and airy servitors, trip about him at command.

— John Milton 1642
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There are few, very few, that will own themselves in a mistake, though all the World sees them to be in downright nonsense.

— Jonathan Swift c. 1711-1726
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