Humorous Sayings

939 sayings found from the Ancient era

The sage governs by emptying senses and filling bellies.

— Laozi c. 6th-4th century BC
Humorous

The sage attends to the belly, and not to what he sees.

— Laozi c. 6th-4th century BC
Humorous

Simplicity has no name is free of desires. Being free of desires it is tranquil. And the world will be at peace of it's own accord.

— Laozi c. 6th-4th century BC
Humorous

A knife of the keenest steel requires the whetstone, and the wisest man needs advice.

— Zoroaster c. 6th century BC
Humorous

Do not hold grain waiting for higher prices when people are hungry.

— Zoroaster c. 6th century BC
Humorous

Always meet petulance with gentleness and perverseness with kindness. A gentle hand can lead even an elephant by a hair. Reply to thine enemy with gentleness.

— Zoroaster c. 6th century BC
Humorous

Excessive liberty and excessive servitude are equally dangerous, and produce nearly the same effect.

— Zoroaster c. 6th century BC
Humorous

Suffer no anxiety, for he who is a sufferer of anxiety becomes regardless of enjoyment of the world and the spirit, and contraction happens to his body and soul.

— Zoroaster c. 6th century BC
Humorous

I am dying from the treatment of too many physicians.

— Alexander the Great 323 BCE
Humorous

But truly, if I were not Alexander, I would be Diogenes.

— Alexander the Great Approx. 336 BCE
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There are so many worlds and I have not yet conquered even one.

— Alexander the Great During his campaigns
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My father will anticipate everything. He will leave you and me no chance to do a great and brilliant deed.

— Alexander the Great Before 336 BCE
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What an excellent horse do they lose, for want of address and boldness to manage him! ... I could manage this horse better than others do.

— Alexander the Great As a youth, before 336 BCE
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Sex and sleep alone make me conscious that I am mortal.

— Alexander the Great During his campaigns
Humorous

Do not steal victory.

— Alexander the Great 331 BCE
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Hephaestion is a friend of Alexander, while Krateros is a friend of the king.

— Alexander the Great During his reign
Humorous

Veni, vidi, vici.

— Julius Caesar 47 BCE
Humorous

Iacta alea est.

— Julius Caesar 49 BCE
Humorous

It is not these well-fed long-haired men that I fear, but the pale and the hungry-looking.

— Julius Caesar Approx. 44 BCE
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I had rather be first in a village than second at Rome.

— Julius Caesar Early in his career
Humorous