The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.
Comedian, social critic
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"I'm not a narcissist. I just think I'm better than everyone else."
Controversial"I don't believe in fate. I believe in choice. I believe in making your own choices, and living with the consequences."
Controversial"I'm a collector of words. I'm a word nerd. I love words. I love how they sound, how they look, how they feel, how they taste. I love how they make me think, how they make me feel, how they make me lau…"
Strange & Unusual"I'm not a lawyer. I'm just a guy who likes to argue."
Controversial"Here's a little poem by my friend, Jack Handy: 'I hope that after I die, people will say, 'He was a good man. He was a kind man. He was a man who loved his family.' And then, after a brief pause, 'But…"
Strange & Unusual