"I'm not a fan of modern movies. I think it's a bunch of people who are trying to be clever, but they're just making a lot of explosions."

"Murder. The fifth commandment. But if you think about it...if you think about it, religion has never really had a problem with murder. Not really. No, more people have been killed in the name of God t…"

"I like it when a guy is so stupid he doesn't know he's being made fun of. That's funnier than anything."

"I'm not a megalomaniac. I just want to rule the world."

"I'm not a shrink. I'm just a guy who likes to listen."