"No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live."

"A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes."

"It is a most extraordinary thing that the human race is so fond of being humbugged."

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."

"Why shouldn't I be an optimist? I have nothing to lose."