"I'm not a politician, I'm an entertainer."

"I don't do jokes about Michael Jackson anymore. I'm afraid he might come after me in his pajamas."

"We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion."

"You know what's good about people? They're always trying to make things better. And you know what's bad about people? They're always trying to make things better."

"I'm a big fan of laughter. I think it's the best medicine."