"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat."

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."

"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."

"Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool."

"If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first."