"The road to hell is paved with adverbs."

"What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? (You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork... a joke, by the way, that I heard originall…"

"If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot."

"If your insanity leads you to carve up women like Jack the Ripper or the Cleveland Torso Murderer, we clap you away in the funny farm (but neither of those two amateur-night surgeons was ever caught, …"

"Humor is almost always a subversive element. It's a way to make people think about things they don't want to think about."