"Moxy, oh my God, yes, Moxy, don't even get me started on Moxy, that stuff sucks. So bad."

"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass."

"I think that we're all mentally ill; those of us outside the asylums only hide it a little better--and maybe not all that much better, after all."

"What's the difference between Trump's cabinet and a cactus? With a cactus, all the pricks are on the outside. Thank you, I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress."

"I attract weirdness, you know, I'm like a weirdness magnet. And I was so weirded out by that point after all these, you know, rubber chicken dinners and everything else that I wasn't even surprised. H…"