"I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal."

"The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache."

"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone."

"I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain."

"It's that idea that you can have one drink - and no you can't."