"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."

"The human race has only one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

"What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself."

"I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position."