"Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement."

"I can't say I've ever been a fan of government programs named after presidents."

"Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other."

"We are a nation under God, and I believe we should act like it."

"The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government, and I'm here to help.'"