"I have learned that the best way to keep a secret is to tell it to yourself."

"They are trying to make an elder statesmen of me, but they will never succeed."

"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a Republican. But I repeat myself."

"It's a wonder that the Lord doesn't just wipe us all out."

"I don't care what you think about me, just so you think about me."