Marry, and you will regret it; don’t marry, you will also regret it; marry or don’t marry, you will regret both. Laugh at the world’s follies, you will regret it; weep over them, you will also regret it. Laugh at the world’s follies or weep over them, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; don’t believe her, you will also regret it. Believe a woman or don’t believe her, you will regret both. Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will also regret it. Hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both. This, gentlemen, is the sum and substance of all philosophy.