"My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We start bombing in five minutes."

"Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other."

"There are no easy answers, but there are simple answers. We must have the courage to do what we know is morally right."

"Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first."

"I am not a great man; I'm a simple man who had a great dream."