"The greatest humbug of all is the man who believes—or pretends to believe—that everything and everybody are humbugs."

"I don't care what the newspapers say about me as long as they spell my name right."

"A little reflection will show that humbug is an astonishingly wide-spread phenomenon — in fact almost universal."

"I am not a philanthropist, but I try to do good."

"You know I had rather be laughed at than not to be noticed at all."