"I don't do drugs anymore. I'm afraid I'd like them too much."

"I think the human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public."

"If you're that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

"Oh Captain, my Captain!"

"I believe in reincarnation. In my next life, I want to be a cat. To sleep 20 hours a day and wait to be fed. To sit and lick my ass. I've always wanted to do that."