"There's no damn business like show business - you have to smile to keep from throwing up."

"I'm always making a comeback, but nobody ever tells me where I've been."

"I think I'm a nice person. I like to make people happy."

"You can be up to your boobies in white satin, with gardenias in your hair and no sugar in your shoes, and still mess up."

"The only thing I like about [fishing] is to sit in the boat and eat hot dogs and drink beer and scream when he catches a fish. And you hope that you don't catch any fish, no, I haven't, they wiggle to…"