"I'm a comedian. My job is to make people laugh. And if I can make 'em think, too, that's a bonus."

"I’m for anything that gets you through the night—be it prayer, tranquilizers, or a bottle of Jack Daniels."

"I'm not a nihilist. I'm just a person who doesn't believe in anything."

"I got a lot of problems. But at least I'm not boring."

"I think the best way to deal with racism is to laugh at it. Because it's so ridiculous."