"The good life is simple. Don't f*ck it up by making it complicated."

"People are much more willing to take advice from someone who looks like them."

"Never trust a man who uses the word 'paradigm'."

"The last guy I had was a fucking dick. He wanted to be artsy fartsy. You're OK."

"Attention authors: if a reviewer writes an unfair review of your work, contact me, I can be very unfair in reviewing his review."