"There is a fool born every minute."

"Clergymen sometimes take offense when I place my Museum next door to their churches; but really, a lecture on natural history from my platform is quite as instructive as a sermon from their pulpits."

"I am not a philanthropist, but I try to do good."

"I am a showman, and I have no apologies to make for being one."

"My inexperienced friend, take it for granted that they all tell the truth -- about each other! -- and then transact your business to the best of your ability on your own judgment."